Nothing is save, nothing is serious


Almost exactly three quarters of the year have passed since I have written my second post here, in which I made a list of new years resolutions and much has been happening in the past month. Actually i managed to fulfill quit a few of the resolutions that I made back then and made progress on the ones that are still to take.   I successfully finished my International Communication & Media studies at the Hogeschool Utrecht, which took me a considerate while already since I am not always the type of person that takes the way of the least resistance, especially if there are issues to deal with that are simply related to insuffiecientce and incabability of institutions like universities to provide students (and therefor customers) with proper guidance and the resources to complete their study as intendet. Long story short I had to work hard and it has cost me a lot of patients and time as well as work to reach this goal I had set myself.


From this time of graduation on things almost started to go too well, since I got multiple interesting offers to work in interesting environments in which I could further develop my expertise on new media and online marketing. After some long thoughts on what to choose I went for the financially least attractive but highly interesting start up that sold an app development toolkit over a more established player in e-commerce. Unfortunately not the smartest idea, as I should find out a few month later already.   Even though i definitely enjoyed the first few month, regarding work atmosphere, product and team, I had noticed after a while that the overall vibe in the office went slowly downhill when we had to move to a smaller office. Nevertheless I would have never thought at this point that not even two month later I was jobless and the startup was factually bankrupt. Accordingly I was rather shocked when I was returning home from a pleasurable long weekend that I had spend with my brother in Stockholm.


The weird thing though was that even though my lucky strike turned and one of my main achievements was gone all of a sudden, but nothing in the behavior amongst the founders and management seemed like they where really negatively affected. A few last get togethers where organized where everyone acted like there was a reason to party and accordingly their spendings where big. At first this behavior seemed like a  way to forget about the status quo. In the end it was all just a way to delay the realization of the misery for the employees. Management and founder where all either involved in other ventures or had arranged a new employment through their network, whereas the regular employees where struggling more or less to find something new. During my last goodbye party the founder told me something about his view on life which I will not forget that quick. He told me: “Life is a gamble. You try something and if it doesnt work, you have to start something new.”


In that way its a constant up and down in life for most of us. Learning to deal with loss or defeat is an important part of the learning curve. Nevertheless I started doubting if the the nearly careless way to handle such situations, especially in the startup economy, is necessarily the right way to go. In some ways it seems too wasteful and detached from reality in some ways.